Change
"Change is inevitable. Change is constant." Benjamin Disraeli said this. Change that is unexpected or unwelcomed can be particularly difficult to take. Even when we anticipate change, some changes are so profoundly unsettling or foreign to evertthing we have known that feelings of grief emerge. Grief can be present even when nobody has died. People feel personal grief when a part of their life has changes and is unrecoverable. Examples of this would be when dear friends
Being Present
Being "present" in a relationship is more than being nearby to the other person. Presence includes listening, observing, sensing, and not anticipating the other person's words, needs, or behaviors. Being present is hard work and requires attention, patience, and the willingness to ask for clarification. Being present offers emotional rewards, too. Understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, allowing them to ask for what they need rather than guessing or anticipating
Integrity
Integrity means that what one says and does matches. Integrity can also mean that when unforeseen circumstances lead to a broken promise, one "fesses up" as soon as possible, and before the unintended behavior is discovered by another. Integrity is much harder to prove when others discover inconsistency in one's words and deeds. "Today I will strive to make my words and my actions match."
Belonging
Finding where one belongs can be a struggle. For some, the need to belong can be more powerful than values or morals. The best fit for many seems to be in finding a group where there are essential qualities in common, and experiences just different enough to interest us. What qualities to you bring to a social moment? Are you making an effort to “connect” with others you meet? Just for today, commit that “I will look for something in common with each person I meet.”
Courage and Fear
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it." Victor Hugo Fear can our friend when we face dangerous circumstances. Fear can also be our enemy when we are safe and surrounded by friends. Today I will acknowledge my fear and its role in keeping me safe from past danger. Whenever I feel fear, I will consider whether I still need fear to be my friend. I will consider walking with courage at my side, along with fear, so that fear is no longer my only companion.
Hope grows when you feed it.
During dark times, remember this quote by Father Joseph, "After winter there should come beautiful spring days. It happens every year and it happens in every life." Feelings, circumstances, everything changes from day to day and from moment to moment. Our lives touch so many others in positive ways, even when it is not obvious to us. Just for today, say to yourself, "I can get through this. I am stronger than I feel."
